My angel
by Blaze Moonlight
Summary: Harry is in love with Ginny but he still has to cope with the war and what comes with it. Can Harry and Ginny have what they want or is fate against them?  Songfic to the Song: What's Left of Me  Nick Lachey


_Watch my life,  
Pass me by,  
In the rear view mirror  
Pictures frozen in time  
Are becoming clearer  
I don't wanna waste another day  
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes_

I just dumped Ginny Weasley. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me and that's why I left her. I slump onto the grass by the lake, I'm worried about the war. I just can't risk her getting hurt again by Lord Voldemort, I won't let her be used as bait, and I definitely won't let her love me because the people who love me have a horrible tendency to end up dead – brutally murdered by Lord Voldemort or his supporters. Ginny can't end up dead, no matter what happens. My heart will just have to manage without her, I've dealt with everything else life has thrown at me; why can't I just deal with leaving her and get over it? This shouldn't be any worse than my other losses, for Merlin's sake; she's only a crush and it's not like she's dead or anything like that. Just thinking about her dying makes me feel how cold it would be; it makes my shiver, which is stupid – it's the height of summer and I feel cold. I need to pull myself together. I've got a war to fight.

_Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me_

I'm a murderer, a brutal, cold blooded killer; I just slaughtered a death eater. I should have cast a different curse; now I'm as bad as they are, I'm dirty, and I'm contaminated. I'm not worthy of anything, let alone Ginny. NO! I mustn't think about her, she's over; she isn't part of my life anymore. She has her own life, a life that doesn't include worthless scum like me. Ron and Hermione haven't even thought about what I've become they're to busy arguing but they'll realise it soon and they won't want to fight alongside murderers. If Ginny knew what I'd just done she'd say I was dirt too. I know I'm worthless like dirt; I've become what I hate. I'm not a hero anymore, I'm not great or noble, I haven't met anyone's expectations, I was supposed to be practically perfect, now I'm not even near halfway to perfect. Not like her, she's perfect in every way; if I had to describe an angel I'd describe her: kind, friendly, funny, charming, intelligent and beautiful – some people call it perfection, I call it Ginny. Some people will call me sad or sappy for thinking that, but it's the truth. Not that it matters because it's also true that I'm a murderer.

_I've been dying inside,  
Little by little,  
No where to go,  
But going out of my mind  
In endless circles,  
Running from my self until,  
You gave me a reason for standing still_

I've just got a letter from Ginny with the worst news possible in it: it says that she loves me. Worst still, I'm starting to think I might love her back. Really love her, not I think I love her but it's really just another little crush love, true love. This definitely wasn't supposed to happen; I'm not supposed to care about anything except the war. Ron and Hermione have been making it harder but Ginny loving me – that's made it impossible. I have to forget her and focus on the war but I can't get her out of my head: her laugh, her smile, the way her hair sparkles in the light, her deep brown eyes and they way they light up when she sees me, her freckles, her whole, perfect self.

_It's falling faster,  
Barely breathing,  
Give me something,  
To believe in  
Tell me: It's not all in my head_

It hurts so much, I can hear my screams echoing through the night, and I want it to end, and then it does, just for a second; but I'm standing up now, shooting curses rapidly from my wand, I've drawn blood from him. Again I dodge a Cruciatus curse, Avada Kedavra, curse after curse, some hit me, some don't, I have to win this though, I haven't got any choice. I can feel my blood rising in my throat, I try to choke it back down, I don't know if I can do this anymore. Then I catch sight of her, her shining hair and her beautiful eyes, she wants me to win so I will, I'll do anything to make her smile. If she thinks I can defeat him then I can. I can hear my voice screaming curses at him, then, he falls. Lord Voldemort, the most evil wizard of all time, falling in slow motion to the ground, blood blossoming from his robes and suddenly Lord Voldemort is over – over forever this time.

_Take what's left  
Of this man  
Make me whole  
Once again_

It's all over properly now: Lord Voldemort, the death eaters, the war, the final battle, the cleanup operation, the fear – everything. I only have one more job left that I need to do; it's the hardest one of them all. I pull her aside, out of the house and I lead her up through the end of the garden and out into the orchard. I pull a hard, cold, plain box out of my pocket. It's a bitter evening but though I can see her shivering with cold I know need to say it now, before I lose my nerve for good. I open the box and place it in my palm.

"Ginevra Molly Weasley, will you marry me?"

_I've been dying inside you see  
I'm going out of my mind  
Out of my mind  
I'm just running in circles all the time  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?  
Just running in circles in my mind  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?_

"I love you, you know, every single battered, broken, misplaced bit of you. So, Harry James Potter, YES!" She threw herself into my arms and kissed me and suddenly the night wasn't bitter and horrible. It was the best night of my life. I was lost in her chocolaty eyes, my hands running through her silky red hair, this time I knew it was forever – forever and always. Finally, after that never-ending kiss we break apart, I slip the ring onto her finger, it fits perfectly on her. I pull her close to me; we fit together perfectly, this was more than chance, this was my destiny, _our_ destiny.


End file.
